


A Few Years Later

by kristaooox



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Produce X 101 (TV), UP10TION, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Weishin, 녁우
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 11:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20692598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristaooox/pseuds/kristaooox
Summary: In a few years later after today,After all the time has gone by,Would each of us has become our own person and be living well?





	A Few Years Later

_In a few years later after today,_  
_After all the time has gone by,_  
_Would each of us has become our own person and be living well?_

  
\--

  
Jinhyuk stared at the other side of his bed. It's empty. It's not something Jinhyuk's used to.

Just the other day, that now empty space was always occupied - accompanied him through the cold of the night, spooning through a leisure time, making love through the silent and darkness.

He could no longer do any of those. He could no longer do anything. Not alone. Not after his love had left.

Not after Kim Wooseok had gone.

\--

_What was the thing that made us meet?_

That thought passed Jinhyuk's mind when he saw the toothbrush Wooseok left in their-- his bathroom this morning.

It didn't take long for Jinhyuk to remember - he never actually forget-- he could never forget their first meeting even if he wanted to.

That was the night when Seungyoun forced him to be his replacement in a small play in their neighborhood back then. Jinhyuk was asked to play the guitar in Seungyoun's place for an amateur musical play.

Jinhyuk couldn't remember why Seungyoun couldn't make it back then, but he could exactly recall how his mood instantly flipped from bitterness to excitement the moment he saw the lead actor. A handsome, delicate, talented guy named Kim Wooseok.

The next day Jinhyuk asked Seungyoun if he could invite him to join in the cast.

Jinhyuk stopped thinking and wiped the corner of his eyes.

\--

"Hyuk,"

One day Seungyoun asked him when they were out hanging together while working in the studio, recording some new songs that could be in their new album and tour.

"How are you holding up, now?"

It was already months after the separation.

"Couldn't be better," Jinhyuk answered.

"Don't lie," Seungyoun pestered.

"I'm serious, though! Isn't this what you call freedom, or--what's a cooler word-- oh, liberation? I'm free to do anything now, why shouldn't I be fine?"

Anyone who knew Jinhyuk even a little then listened to this conversation would know he's lying, Jinhyuk himself _knew_ he's lying and _knew_ his friend would _knew_ he's uttering bullshits right now;

"Love's useless, anyway,"

Jinhyuk knew the longer he let himself wander, the more pathetic he's becoming; how much of a pitiful guy he's letting others see him as;

"We're done for the day, right? I'm going."

He picked up his jacket and exited the studio. No one stopped him, he didn't want to anyway.

He didn't want anyone to try fixing him, even a little and as much offering comfort. He was sure any effort would go to waste, so he'd prefer no one to do nothing.

Jinhyuk understood very well if it's not himself who's trying to improve, none would change. The thing was, at least for the time being, for the last ten months after parting, there's imprisonment - not freedom nor liberation, as opposed to the bullshit he said back in the studio - the moment it sank to him that Kim Wooseok was no longer there by his side, when Jinhyuk lived his day and night.

He's in a prison with no guard, with no door nor key. His heart's in a prison he couldn't escape.

\--

There's a phrase of seven words that would always teared Jinhyuk apart, clenched his heart, making him feel the guilt as if he's murdered all humanity.

_"You're a pain in the ass, Wooseok."_

A group of words Jinhyuk would do anything to take them back, shoved into the deepest of his throat and never let it arrive at Wooseok's ear.

_How shitty it is that you can't rewind life, how time-turner could never exist outside the fantasy world of Harry Potter -_ Jinhyuk thought - and how Jinhyuk wanted so bad to use a time machine back to kill himself a second before his mouth delivered the cursed seven words.

The worst thing, though, at the brief moment of his life when it all happened, in the seconds those seven words leaving his tongue, Jinhyuk was serious. He really thought that way. He meant every word.

And Wooseok felt it. He knew.

And they both know the last thing Wooseok ever wanted was to be a burden, not to anyone, mostly not to Jinhyuk at best.

"Jinhyuk," Wooseok looked at him, "I think it's time to stop seeing each other." Wooseok then left their dinner table, went out of their home, and, little did Jinhyuk knew that night, went out of Jinhyuk's life.

That was the night they finally got to have dinner together in their very home, after weeks- (or months? It's been so long he lost the track) missing each other's schedules, after living the lives of a rising musician who's constantly on tour with his band and a rising actor whose days mostly spent at the filming set.

The next day, Wooseok went back to the house when Jinhyuk's at work, packed his things and left his key on their-- Jinhyuk's dinner table.

The day after, Jinhyuk came home to an empty, Wooseok-less house.

Jinhyuk didn't have a home since then.

\--

Jinhyuk couldn't remember how he got here.

Ah--that's not entirely true. He remembered he was at the afterparty of yet another tour his band just had, he remembered sitting at the bar, a glass in his hand in which the bartender kept on refilling (or at least that's how he remembered).

Jinhyuk remembered he thought he saw a familiar figure going to the back door. He remembered chasing after that familiar shadow.

He now found himself at the dark alley behind the bar, with his body turning wet, showered by the night rain.

He also found that familiar figure he thought he saw, now turning out to be Wooseok.

Kim Wooseok. As far as Jinhyuk concerned, at least that's how his brain interpreted the moment: Wooseok was now standing in front of Jinhyuk.

"Wooseok, wait!" Jinhyuk reached out, not so much nearing Wooseok.

"Please hear me out," Jinhyuk said.

Wooseok was still, his eyes and gaze were in the direction of Jinhyuk's.

"I know that you and I-- can't no longer be called 'us' anymore-- but," the desperation in Jinhyuk's voice grew louder, "please give me time-- just a few minutes, to say something, for the last time."

Wooseok didn't let out a word, but Jinhyuk saw him nodded (or Jinhyuk thought he saw Wooseok nodded) so he continued.

"I'm sorry I was crazy back then, and maybe I still am-- God, even now I want to hold you tight and tell you words I wish I said in the past," Jinhyuk took a breath in between, "I might look like I'm fine, continuing my work and going here and there like nothing happened, but honestly that is me holding it all in."

Jinhyuk took a step forward, but somehow Wooseok's not getting any closer.

"I mean-- Wooseok, you were-- no, you are the most precious part of me, how could something like that, someone like you, be taken away from me without drops of blood? I-- my heart's been bleeding non-stop for the last two years, Wooseok. I know it's all my fault, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Jinhyuk stayed still in his place, but somehow Wooseok's getting further.

"I was all yours-- I still am, I guess. But since everything fell apart, I feel like I'm a beggar. After all this time, you're still living and breathing inside me-- inside my heart."

Jinhyuk felt like he lost the knowledge of the point he was trying to make-- or if he even had one in the first place, he's not sure.

"So, since you're never going back... Could you at least tell me, what can I do to bury you in my heart?"

Ah, that's it - Jinhyuk's wanted to be bailed out, it's becoming extremely suffocating inside the prison.

Jinhyuk's still standing there, looking at Wooseok who's now fading. "...Wooseok?"

_Thud_.

The sound of the back door suddenly opened startled Jinhyuk. A staff walked out.

"Sorry, sir, but you can't vomit here."

Jinhyuk's confused, but answered her still, "I won't, don't worry."

The staff got back inside after throwing a bag of trash.

Jinhyuk felt very confused. He looked around carefully, and now fully realized that he was alone in the dark alley. Wooseok left-- no, Wooseok was never here.

Feeling unwell, he decided it's time to go home (and sort his feelings and thoughts).

Jinhyuk reached out the handle of the back door, about to get inside the bar, then he noticed something pasted on the door. There was the poster of Wooseok's latest film coming out, where it showed a close up of Wooseok looking side way. Both sides of the door had it pasted on when Jinhyuk checked inside, apparently.

"It's time... to go out, huh?" Jinhyuk thought.

\--

_In a few years later, after today,_  
_After all the time has gone by,_  
_Would each of us have become our own person and be living well?_  
_After I’m done longing for you,_  
_for as much as I can and have been hurt enough,_  
_At that time, I need to let go of your hand._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Inspired a lot by [A Few Years Later](https://youtu.be/qqqRn0l0PKE) by Block B. Also, you could think of this as 'LaLaLand'-ish AU.
> 
> An epilogue is coming... maybe. Maybe not.


End file.
